Cogito Ergo Sum ☆

If I have the chance to choose whom am I going to fall in love with, I would definitely choose a man...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:48:03 +0800

If I have the chance to choose whom am I going to fall in love with, I would definitely choose a man with a good sense of humor. I would choose someone like him because I know that he could make me smile when I am feeling blue. He wouldn’t mind if he already looks stupid as long as he’s making me happy. They say that often times, the people who makes other happy are those who are really broken inside. And I will be glad to fix his broken pieces, I don’t mind whether I’m gonna have scars because of the sharp pieces he’s made of. He show me gleams when I am in gloom, I guess I have to do the same thing to. Together, we will complement each other and staple a smile on each other’s face.

Dearest- Days spent without you are days filled with agony. I hate distance as much as I hate not...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:20:20 +0800

Dearest-

Days spent without you are days filled with agony. I hate distance as much as I hate not being with you. I hate how days seem to be so long. How time runs so slow when I am waiting for you. I hate the fact that I can’t comfort you during times that you need me the most. Distance sucks, terribly. If I could find a way to be with you everyday, then I won’t hesitate to do that. If I could just travel everyday just to stare at your dazzling eyes, I will. But I can’t.

It’s not easy. It never was and never will. But I am trying my hardest. To hold on into something. You know how much I love but there are sometimes that I have these doubts if I should still pursue this. The thought that maybe one day, I’ll hold onto nothing then I will be hurt more than I should. But you said that I should give my trust. Can you swear one thing to me? That you’ll never break my trust just like what those other douchebags did? Can you?

Another thing is that, you may find someone better who’s closer to you. Who could always go with you whenever and wherever you want. My mind is like a chasm of rambled thoughts. There are so many what ifs and maybes. I’m confused. But all I know, is that I am in love with you and I will fight for you as long as I can.

You want your dad to be gone? Yes, he may annoy you sometimes but you’d never know his...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:23:00 +0800

You want your dad to be gone?

Yes, he may annoy you sometimes but you’d never know his importance ‘til he’s gone.
Some people have to travel across the seven seas just to see their dads.
Some people have nothing to do but to look up in the sky because their fathers are already in heaven.

Admit it or not, there are times when you wish that your father was already gone so that no one could make you mad. You may sometimes be annoyed and pissed off with your dad, but then, I am telling you, you should enjoy his company while he is still with you. A lot of people are spending father’s day without their dad so you are very lucky to have him near you. You could easily hug him, whisper the words “I love you” and kiss him. Some people, no matter how much they wanted to, cannot do any of those.

Your father may seem to be so strong but inside, he is sometimes hurting. He’s still a human and has feelings, too. You know how much it hurts him every time you show that you do not need him anymore, as if you do not want him in your life. It pains them to know that the baby he once take good care of now wants him out of his child’s life. Think again, I’m pretty much sure you’ve seen a flower, you’ve seen a flower bloom and then whither in just a matter time. Later on, you’ll realize how beautiful it was until it’s withered and gone. That’s how it goes. Once they’re gone, you’ll then appreciate them. Are you still going to wait for the time for him to be gone before you appreciate his care for you? I do not think so. You’ll realize how important he is and how short the time was. All you can do is to remember the memories but then again, you’ll regret the actions you’ve done particularly not appreciating him while he’s still there. You’ll regret all the times when you ignored their “lambing” just because you were busy texting your school mate. You’ll then remember the little things he does for you like texting you to eat your food on time, when he asks stuff about love and how you would deny your crush to him, how he would say that he’s more handsome compared to that artist you moon over with and a lot more. These little things he does are the most painful memories you’ll ever recall.

Aside from God’s love, no one in this world can love you as much as your dad does. So while he’s still here, tell him every now and then that you love him. And show him that you really do.

I really loved your Father's Day post and I would definitely say that it's really great. I've been spending the past 15 years without my dad here on earth and I can't even remember a vivid memory with him but still I am thankful to God that He gave me a dad like him. :(

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 18:30:00 +0800

Aw, yours is a longer time. I’ve spent nine years without my dad. Still, let’s be thankful that He gave us our own quixotic hero even if the time we spent with them is not long enough to give us a lot of memories.

Your recent post about father's day is very very beautiful. I can feel the emotion in every word. My father's with us but I can't feel his presence here because of some reasons. And that post really made me cry. :(

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:55:00 +0800

>:(<

This is for the people who will celebrate father’s day without their dads. This is for those who...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 11:24:00 +0800

This is for the people who will celebrate father’s day without their dads. This is for those who would give anything just to be in their father’s arm. This is for those who would travel the entire universe in barefoot just to see how their fathers are doing. This is for those who are terribly missing their dad. This is for those who cannot hug their fathers but wishes and hopes that they could. This is for those people who has their heart aching whenever they see a picture of a complete family wishing theirs are like that too.
I know how painful it is to celebrate an occasion without the celebrant. But I do believe, wherever they are at this very moment, they are also wishing that they are with you to celebrate this special occasion because they love you more than you could ever know so stop crying and smile because you have a very wonderful dad.

To my parents, I am sorry if I always disappoint you. I am sorry if sometimes, I am getting into...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 20:21:05 +0800

To my parents,

I am sorry if I always disappoint you. I am sorry if sometimes, I am getting into your nerves. I’m sorry if I can’t be the kind of child you always dreamed of having. I am so sorry. I can’t be perfect, but you know what? I am trying my hardest. I am trying and struggling to make you proud. I know I always fail, but that’s part of life. I wish you’d understand that it’s not wrong to commit mistakes sometimes. Mistakes mold me to who am I today. I’m so sorry for not making up to your expectations. I am just a teen, I am still learning. Please bear with me.

Mom, please don’t compare me with other people. You don’t know how much it hurts. It’s like a dagger that cuts through my heart every time I hear the words “Why can’t you be like her?” or words like that. I can’t be everything at once. If I can, then I would. But it’s not possible. I wish you’ll learn that people have differences.

Please understand me when sometimes, I tend to answer you in a high pitch voice. I didn’t mean it. But maybe, you did something unpleasant. To be honest, sometimes, you annoy me. But I choose not to get angry because I love you. I am a teen ager, I am moody, I am emotional, but that’s okay, I guess. I’m still caught in between being a kid and being a grown up. I hope you take time to realize this and understand me.

I love you, and I’ll do everything just to make you proud. I may not make you proud at this moment, but soon, I promise you, I will. You’ll be proud to me.

Love, your child.

To that kid who threw a stone to my dog, No, you do not mess with my dog because I am telling you...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 16:30:00 +0800

To that kid who threw a stone to my dog,
No, you do not mess with my dog because I am telling you once the photoreceptors of my eyes recognize your presence ever again, I swear I will draw my self closer to you and slit your throat until you die you fucking jerk

i. Last night, I dreamed about laying on some green pastures while gazing at the night sky, The...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:46:33 +0800

Last night, I dreamed about laying on some green pastures while gazing at the night sky, The scenery, is undeniably staggering leaving my eyes the glimmer of the stars above. One could easily fall in love with the type of ambiance this place has. Suddenly, I felt something, something that made me realize that there is something missing. I started looking for that thing. I searched under the rocks, behind the trees, into the bushes, but no. I failed to find out what my mind is trying to tell me. It’s kinda peculiar because I am searching for something I do not know but then I always have this feeling upon seeing something that “no, this isn’t the one I am searching for”.

ii.

I found myself awake around 2o’clock am. There I was, reminiscing that wonderful dream I had. I keep on thinking about the possible things that might happen if I have finished my dream. I keep on thinking about that missing something and how significant it is to me that even in my dreams my mind tells me to look for it. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep once again. Because maybe, just maybe, I could continue my dream.

iii.

I fell asleep and my dream continued. I was still searching for that thing. I do not have any idea on why am I still searching- everything is quite perfect, at least for me; the moon peeking from the clouds, the skies shining down from the heavens, the cool breeze of the blowing wind and the perfect harmony of birds chirping, the river flowing and the wind blowing. I looked somewhere far. Then I saw another star, at first, I thought it was a star because compared to the others, it even shines brighter. My eyes focused on that thing- until I realized it was you. It was you who I’ve been searching for. But to add to the intensity of the feelings, I saw you with someone else. So happy, and glad to be in each others arms. I was searching for something that has already found someone worth looking for. Kinda unfair.

iv.

I realized that the stars shine for them. And the moon? It peeks from the cloud to witness a wonderful date happening below him. I was all alone. Unfortunately, in my dream, I have no one to talk to. So I have to appreciate the wonders of beauty all by myself. And of course, I have to secretly cut my heart by looking at the two of them- helplessly falling in love with each other, intoxicated with each other’s love.

The dream started well, but ended up as a nightmare. It just goes to show that even in my dreams, we cannot really be together.

These are the feelings that ache the most— the yearning and desire for the impossible, the nostalgia...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:22:39 +0800

These are the feelings that ache the most— the yearning and desire for the impossible, the nostalgia for things that never occurred, the sense of regret over what might have been— for they come suddenly out of nowhere, and they hit you hard with no warning at all. These feelings are catastrophes, and no matter how well you try to prepare for them, your efforts won’t ever be enough. They’re strong enough to kill you all the same.

Photo

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 18:29:00 +0800

I guess I have to stop writing about you, even just for the mean time. Maybe as the snow stops...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 21:39:09 +0800

I guess I have to stop writing about you, even just for the mean time. Maybe as the snow stops falling, I should temporarily cease my feeling for you too. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that you have no chance to read my writings after all and that if you ever did, you wouldn’t even care. Maybe I should stop wasting my pen’s ink writing the words my mouth cannot say. Maybe I should stop wasting my journal’s pages just because I keep on repeating my poems for you because I am afraid you may not like it, though I know that you will not read those, still, there might be a very little chance that you will, despite of the fact that you won’t read my works. Just so you know, these works are all for you. Most of the time, I will write about how wonderful you are or how perfect you seemed to me but sometimes, I write about the pain you brought to my heart and how your apathy stabs me at my back leaving scars.

I guess I have to stop thinking about you, even just for a second. To be honest, you are always in my mind. I do not know what sorcery is this but no matter how hard I try, you will always be stuck on my mind. I guess I really have to divert my attention to other things knowing that you are nowhere to be found. Of course, you chose to be gone and not to be found. I guess I have to think about something else.

I guess I have to stop loving you, of course, it pains me to be a victim of unrequited love, but do not worry, it is not your fault that you cannot fall in love with me. Just look at me, I am nothing compared to the highlights of the societies. Those perfect creatures. I am nothing compared to them. But if there may be a chance that you might change your mind (and choose me over those goddess), I’ll swear to you that I will love you more than they could ever do. I could not offer anything more. I only have my heart and a pen.

The truth is that, the more you think about it, the more it will linger into the entirety of you-...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 21:55:44 +0800

The truth is that, the more you think about it, the more it will linger into the entirety of you- the more you think about the idea that there is still a possibility that the love between you will still kindle and fill your heart with love, the more chances that you cannot sleep at night because you are thinking of the what if’s and the possibilities that could have happen.

But I am telling you, once you let go of someone, you should be aware that there may be no chance that he will comeback or beg you to hold him again. He may love you know, but once he realized how dumb he is for waiting for a nonexistent love, he may slowly fade away- just like how old photographs lost their vividness through time. If you love him, then do something like appreciate him and make him feel loved. Seasons change, as well as feelings and time does not wait for no one. Do something before he tries his best to let go of your hands on his heart.

If you think that it isn’t working, then stop. But assure yourself that you won’t regret this decision of yours. They say that “You can only know someone’s worth once they’re gone” now ask yourself- are you still going to wait for him to vanish before you could appreciate his worth in your life? I do not think so.

Three Colors of the Flag I. With lips painted of red, showing delicacy yet fieriness of her...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 21:05:08 +0800

Three Colors of the Flag

I. With lips painted of red, showing delicacy yet fieriness of her naturally beautiful soul. Red—the color that entices young men to take a peek of the haven hidden deep within her gentle luster—is eternally painted on her fine curved lips with a brush as gentle as the waves of our shores. Enticing, it genuinely is. From the neon strokes at the edges of her lips to the inner sanctuary of within, it reminds me of a fire that has never gone dull, of a fire that has never turned into dusts.

II. With hair as lustrous as the blue ocean during twelve in the afternoon when the sun dances on her superficial fraction, it keeps me wishing for the sun to never perish. The way she allures me by using her glimmer as her glitters keeps me longing for bars that never got rusty. It crowns our freedom from the utterly pretentious world. It makes you want to plunge and seek for tranquility—one that can only be found where clams eternally contain pearls of the orient seas. From the everlasting flow of whimsical souls found within every streak of her neon blue hair to every edge of power found on these streaks, it reminds me of how we should keep searching for freedom beyond rusts.

III. With eyes coated gloriously of bright yellow, we keep our promises as vivid as the stars during eleven in the evening—when most would wait for eleven more minutes to pass, just so that they can utter whims from their hearts. See through the light, and seek for serenity—where souls have attained bliss that is unlike any other. Paint its iris with hazel, and you shall witness spectacles dancing deep within those. She keeps you seeking for more, I must say. From the long curved lashes crowning her eyes to the beauty seen through specks, it reminds me of how innocent yet brave she truly is.

Tatlong siglo, tatlong dekada at tatlong taon.

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 19:40:00 +0800

Malugod natin silang tinanggap. Trinato bilang kaibigan. Lingid sa ating kaalaman na sila pala ay merong mga lihim na pakay. Hindi para makipagkaibigan satin, kundi para gamitin ang mga yaman natin. Ang mga yaman na singganda ng mga bulaklak, singyabong ng mga pananim. Nang makuha nila ang loob natin, ginawa na nila ang mga nais nila

Ipinasailalim nila tayo sa kanilang kapangyarihan. Sa tagal ng panahon, nanatili tayong nakakulong sa mga rehas na ginawa nila. Karapatan nati’y napasawalang bahala. Naging tagasunod, alipin ng mga taong hindi naman natin kalahi. Wala tayong nagawa dahil wala tayong magawa.

Pinapahirapan, pinapasakitan, inaalipusta. Mga bata’y pwersadong magtrabaho- imbes na nag-aaral at nag lalaro sa mumunting halamanan ng kanyang inay, siya ay nandun, tagabuhat ng mga sako sa may pier. Ang mga kababaihan ay hindi itrinatrato ng mabuti. Pamilya’y nagkalayo layo. Ang mga ngiti ay napalitan nang pighati. Ang mga mata na dati ay puno ng kasiyahan ngayo’y punong puno ng luha.

Sa kabutihang palad, may nagbukas ng ating mga mata upang lumaban, harapin ang mga dayo para sa ating kasarinlan. Mga nobelang nagbigay daan upang mabuksan hindi lamang ang ating mga mata, kundi pati narin ang ating mga isipan at puso. Ipinaglaban natin kung ano ang meron sa atin.

Sa pagkamatay ng may akda ng sulat na iyon, hindi tayo natakot. Bagkus as mas lalong tumindi ang nag aalab na damdamin natin upang labanan ang mga dayo sa ating sariling lupa. Madami ang namatay, mga dugo ay nagkalat sa mga lupang noon ay pinaglalaruan ng maraming mga bata. Madami ang nagbuwis ng kanilang buhay upang makamtan ang ating ninanais. Ang kumawala sa pagkakapit nila sa ating mga kamay. Maalis ang kanilang mga palad na naka takip sa ating mga mata at bibig.

Hunyo 12, 1898. Unang iwinagayway ang bandila ng Pilipinas. Na-nagpapakita ng ating kalayaan mula sa mga dayong sinakop tayo sa loob ng napaka habang panahon. Oo, hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang pananakop ng mga bansang makakapangyarihan, pero ipinakita lang natin na kapag nagsama sama tayo, walang imposible. Kaya natin labanan ang kahit anuman, kahit sinuman basta tayo ay may determinasyon at pagkakaisa.

Ngayon, nararapat tayong magpasalamat sakanila. Dahil kung hindi sa mga magigiting na bayani, hindi natin makakamit kung anumang meron tayo ngayon. Hindi lang sila Rizal, Mabini at Bonifacio ang dapat nating bigyang pasasalamat. Alalahanin natin na hindi lamang sila ang nagbigay ng ideya at namatay para sa ating bansa. Libo-libong matatapang na mga katipunero ang lumaban at namatay para sa bayan. Dapat lang ay bigyang importansya din natin sila.

Bago ko tapusin ang sulating ito, nais ko lamang sabihin na, sana ay hindi tayo nag papasalamat sa ating mga bayani dahil sila ang may dahilan kung bakit walang pasok ngayon o kaya naman nagagalit dahil sila ang may dahilan kung bakit may araw ng kasarinlan na nagpapaalala sayo na wala kang karelasyon. Sana ay ma isip natin na sila ang mga matatapang na bayani na handang ibuwis ang buhay para sa ating bayan.

If only you knew how deep is the cut in my heart when you left me then maybe just maybe you will...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 22:15:52 +0800

If only you knew

how deep is the cut

in my heart

when you left me

then maybe

just maybe

you will come back

and heal this wound.

You are beautiful- even if your skin is not as white as Anne Hathaway’s. Not because your skin is...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:18:32 +0800

You are beautiful-

even if your skin is not as white as Anne Hathaway’s. Not because your skin is not that white, doesn’t mean you’re already ugly. Maybe, one of society’s criteria of being beautiful is about being white, but believe me, you’re beautiful in your own way. Even if you have tan lines, you’re still exceptionally beautiful, I swear. So don’t be scared to go outside your house during noon time when the sun is shining so bright on it’s throne. Go, have fun and don’t mind whether your skin is going to be tanned. Don’t let anything hold you back. Just enjoy.

You are beautiful-

even if you’re underweight or even overweight. Size does not determine whether someone’s beautiful or not. Even if your waistline is not 24 or your stomach is not flat, you’re still beautiful. Don’t mind the society. They will always find ways on how they could bring you down but what’s important is that you don’t let them discourage you. So what if you’re size is big? So what if you don’t have a thigh gap? It doesn’t really matter. In the eye of someone who knows how to appreciate true beauty, everyone is fairly equal. You don’t have to starve yourself to death just to achieve that perfect body shape you’ve always dreamed of having. A healthful body is more important than a sexy body.

You are beautiful-

even if your hair is not the same as Lana Del Rey’s. You are beautiful even if you don’t have flat teeth. You are beautiful even if your nose is not as high as Manilyn Monroe’s. You are beautiful even if you think that you are not as slim as those dancers in your favorite TV show. You are beautiful.

You are beautiful-

despite of all your imperfections. You are beautiful and don’t mind if people tells you that you’re not. Someday, you’re going to find someone who will appreciate you no matter what. You will find someone who will tell you that you’re beautiful even if your hair is not yet combed. Just remember, “beauty is within the eye of the beholder” as they all say. Society’s opinion is not important. What’s important is that when you look at the mirror, you could confidently tell yourself, “I am beautiful”.

You are beautiful-

because you are the only person as beautiful as spring time. Your beauty is like a new born bud- let it grow, let it develop naturally. If you could only see, that your eyes are like windows to the universe, that your hair are like the vines that give beauty to a garden, that the entirety of you is a masterpiece, I swear, you’re going to look at yourself differently. If only you could see yourself the way I do.

Remember when we were still young, we would always fall because we still can’t walk in our...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 19:48:00 +0800

Remember when we were still young, we would always fall because we still can’t walk in our own. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we always end up kissing the floor simply because we are not yet ready to do so. We cried because we are hurt but still, we managed to stand up and continue walking.

When we were still in our elementary level, we would always cry because we failed a certain examination and we are afraid that we might not meet our parent’s expectation. We enclosed in the wall that society had built but in spite of that, we managed to wipe our tears and continue studying.

Now, we would fall in love with someone. Though we are not sure that all of the promises they make will all come true, still, we take the risk. The risk of getting hurt. It’s not always love and rainbows, sometimes, it’s pain and struggle. But remember, when we were still young, despite of the pain from falling, we managed to walk again. Now, apply it. We should, despite of the pain we are feeling, continue to walk our journey and continue loving.

Love has no ends. Even if you decide to stop loving him, there will always be a part of you that will scream his name and recalls his memory. But you should be aware that this too, shall pass. All you have to do is to let time do it’s job and be happy because you’re one strong beautiful girl.

eacayan: Hero dog ‘Kabang’ poses for photographers during a...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 18:41:01 +0800

eacayan:

Hero dog ‘Kabang’ poses for photographers during a press conference in Makati city, east of Manila, Philippines, June 8, 2013. Kabang returned home from the United States after receiving treatment for her snout and upper jaw, which she lost in an accident saving the lives of her owner’s daughter and niece from an oncoming motorcycle.

Secretly, I write about you. Yes, you, the person who might be reading this. The person who may be...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 18:37:02 +0800

Secretly, I write about you. Yes, you, the person who might be reading this. The person who may be ignoring this. The person who is unknown to the existence of this post. Secretly, I am and will always be writing about and for you.

I write about the locks of your hair and how you wrap them around each other. I write about the sun on your skin, the salt you gain on your cheeks after taking a swim in the sea. You never take a step backwards. You never take your eyes off me. I write about how you slowly drift from sitting to laying down while you’re reading the book you’re so hooked up with.

I write about the darkness, the depression gnawing your heart out — claws shredding your heart. I write about your love, how she restored the wreck you, but left you in the end. I write about your summer days and how you wished winter wouldn’t have been so cold like his eyes.

See, I write about you. I write about the lot of you. And secretly, somewhere in the pools of my emotions, I desire for you to write about me too.