If I have the chance to choose whom am I going to fall in love with, I would definitely choose a man with a good sense of humor. I would choose someone like him because I know that he could make me smile when I am feeling blue. He wouldn’t mind if he already looks stupid as long as he’s making me happy. They say that often times, the people who makes other happy are those who are really broken inside. And I will be glad to fix his broken pieces, I don’t mind whether I’m gonna have scars because of the sharp pieces he’s made of. He show me gleams when I am in gloom, I guess I have to do the same thing to. Together, we will complement each other and staple a smile on each other’s face.

You want your dad to be gone?

• Yes, he may annoy you sometimes but you’d never know his importance ‘til he’s gone.
• Some people have to travel across the seven seas just to see their dads.
• Some people have nothing to do but to look up in the sky because their fathers are already in heaven.

Admit it or not, there are times when you wish that your father was already gone so that no one could make you mad. You may sometimes be annoyed and pissed off with your dad, but then, I am telling you, you should enjoy his company while he is still with you. A lot of people are spending father’s day without their dad so you are very lucky to have him near you. You could easily hug him, whisper the words “I love you” and kiss him. Some people, no matter how much they wanted to, cannot do any of those.

Your father may seem to be so strong but inside, he is sometimes hurting. He’s still a human and has feelings, too. You know how much it hurts him every time you show that you do not need him anymore, as if you do not want him in your life. It pains them to know that the baby he once take good care of now wants him out of his child’s life. Think again, I’m pretty much sure you’ve seen a flower, you’ve seen a flower bloom and then whither in just a matter time. Later on, you’ll realize how beautiful it was until it’s withered and gone. That’s how it goes. Once they’re gone, you’ll then appreciate them. Are you still going to wait for the time for him to be gone before you appreciate his care for you? I do not think so. You’ll realize how important he is and how short the time was. All you can do is to remember the memories but then again, you’ll regret the actions you’ve done particularly not appreciating him while he’s still there. You’ll regret all the times when you ignored their “lambing” just because you were busy texting your school mate. You’ll then remember the little things he does for you like texting you to eat your food on time, when he asks stuff about love and how you would deny your crush to him, how he would say that he’s more handsome compared to that artist you moon over with and a lot more. These little things he does are the most painful memories you’ll ever recall.  

Aside from God’s love, no one in this world can love you as much as your dad does. So while he’s still here, tell him every now and then that you love him. And show him that you really do. 

This is for the people who will celebrate father’s day without their dads. This is for those who would give anything just to be in their father’s arm. This is for those who would travel the entire universe in barefoot just to see how their fathers are doing. This is for those who are terribly missing their dad. This is for those who cannot hug their fathers but wishes and hopes that they could. This is for those people who has their heart aching whenever they see a picture of a complete family wishing theirs are like that too.
I know how painful it is to celebrate an occasion without the celebrant. But I do believe, wherever they are at this very moment, they are also wishing that they are with you to celebrate this special occasion because they love you more than you could ever know so stop crying and smile because you have a very wonderful dad.

i.

Last night, I dreamed about laying on some green pastures while gazing at the night sky, The scenery, is undeniably staggering leaving my eyes the glimmer of the stars above. One could easily fall in love with the type of ambiance this place has. Suddenly, I felt something, something that made me realize that there is something missing. I started looking for that thing. I searched under the rocks, behind the trees, into the bushes, but no. I failed to find out what my mind is trying to tell me. It’s kinda peculiar because I am searching for something I do not know but then I always have this feeling upon seeing something that “no, this isn’t the one I am searching for”.

ii.

I found myself awake around 2o’clock am. There I was, reminiscing that wonderful dream I had. I keep on thinking about the possible things that might happen if I have finished my dream. I keep on thinking about that missing something and how significant it is to me that even in my dreams my mind tells me to look for it. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep once again. Because maybe, just maybe, I could continue my dream.

iii.

I fell asleep and my dream continued. I was still searching for that thing. I do not have any idea on why am I still searching- everything is quite perfect, at least for me; the moon peeking from the clouds, the skies shining down from the heavens, the cool breeze of the blowing wind and the perfect harmony of birds chirping, the river flowing and the wind blowing. I looked somewhere far. Then I saw another star, at first, I thought it was a star because compared to the others, it even shines brighter. My eyes focused on that thing- until I realized it was you. It was you who I’ve been searching for. But to add to the intensity of the feelings, I saw you with someone else. So happy, and glad to be in each others arms. I was searching for something that has already found someone worth looking for. Kinda unfair.

iv.

I realized that the stars shine for them. And the moon? It peeks from the cloud to witness a wonderful date happening below him. I was all alone. Unfortunately, in my dream, I have no one to talk to. So I have to appreciate the wonders of beauty all by myself. And of course, I have to secretly cut my heart by looking at the two of them- helplessly falling in love with each other, intoxicated with each other’s love.

v.

The dream started well, but ended up as a nightmare. It just goes to show that even in my dreams, we cannot really be together.

I guess I have to stop writing about you, even just for the mean time. Maybe as the snow stops falling, I should temporarily cease my feeling for you too. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that you have no chance to read my writings after all and that if you ever did, you wouldn’t even care. Maybe I should stop wasting my pen’s ink writing the words my mouth cannot say. Maybe I should stop wasting my journal’s pages just because I keep on repeating my poems for you because I am afraid you may not like it, though I know that you will not read those, still, there might be a very little chance that you will, despite of the fact that you won’t read my works. Just so you know, these works are all for you. Most of the time, I will write about how wonderful you are or how perfect you seemed to me but sometimes, I write about the pain you brought to my heart and how your apathy stabs me at my back leaving scars. 

I guess I have to stop thinking about you, even just for a second. To be honest, you are always in my mind. I do not know what sorcery is this but no matter how hard I try, you will always be stuck on my mind. I guess I really have to divert my attention to other things knowing that you are nowhere to be found. Of course, you chose to be gone and not to be found. I guess I have to think about something else. 

I guess I have to stop loving you, of course, it pains me to be a victim of unrequited love, but do not worry, it is not your fault that you cannot fall in love with me. Just look at me, I am nothing compared to the highlights of the societies. Those perfect creatures. I am nothing compared to them. But if there may be a chance that you might change your mind (and choose me over those goddess), I’ll swear to you that I will love you more than they could ever do. I could not offer anything more. I only have my heart and a pen. 

The truth is that, the more you think about it, the more it will linger into the entirety of you- the more you think about the idea that there is still a possibility that the love between you will still kindle and fill your heart with love, the more chances that you cannot sleep at night because you are thinking of the what if’s and the possibilities that could have happen.

But I am telling you, once you let go of someone, you should be aware that there may be no chance that he will comeback or beg you to hold him again. He may love you know, but once he realized how dumb he is for waiting for a nonexistent love, he may slowly fade away- just like how old photographs lost their vividness through time. If you love him, then do something like appreciate him and make him feel loved. Seasons change, as well as feelings and time does not wait for no one. Do something before he tries his best to let go of your hands on his heart. 

If you think that it isn’t working, then stop. But assure yourself that you won’t regret this decision of yours. They say that “You can only know someone’s worth once they’re gone” now ask yourself- are you still going to wait for him to vanish before you could appreciate his worth in your life? I do not think so.

Malugod natin silang tinanggap. Trinato bilang kaibigan. Lingid sa ating kaalaman na sila pala ay merong mga lihim na pakay. Hindi para makipagkaibigan satin, kundi para gamitin ang mga yaman natin. Ang mga yaman na singganda ng mga bulaklak, singyabong ng mga pananim. Nang makuha nila ang loob natin, ginawa na nila ang mga nais nila

Ipinasailalim nila tayo sa kanilang kapangyarihan. Sa tagal ng panahon, nanatili tayong nakakulong sa mga rehas na ginawa nila. Karapatan nati’y napasawalang bahala. Naging tagasunod, alipin ng mga taong hindi naman natin kalahi. Wala tayong nagawa dahil wala tayong magawa.

Pinapahirapan, pinapasakitan, inaalipusta. Mga bata’y pwersadong magtrabaho- imbes na nag-aaral at nag lalaro sa mumunting halamanan ng kanyang inay, siya ay nandun, tagabuhat ng mga sako sa may pier. Ang mga kababaihan ay hindi itrinatrato ng mabuti. Pamilya’y nagkalayo layo. Ang mga ngiti ay napalitan nang pighati. Ang mga mata na dati ay puno ng kasiyahan ngayo’y punong puno ng luha.

Sa kabutihang palad, may nagbukas ng ating mga mata upang lumaban, harapin ang mga dayo para sa ating kasarinlan. Mga nobelang nagbigay daan upang mabuksan hindi lamang ang ating mga mata, kundi pati narin ang ating mga isipan at puso. Ipinaglaban natin kung ano ang meron sa atin.

Sa pagkamatay ng may akda ng sulat na iyon, hindi tayo natakot. Bagkus as mas lalong tumindi ang nag aalab na damdamin natin upang labanan ang mga dayo sa ating sariling lupa. Madami ang namatay, mga dugo ay nagkalat sa mga lupang noon ay pinaglalaruan ng maraming mga bata. Madami ang nagbuwis ng kanilang buhay upang makamtan ang ating ninanais. Ang kumawala sa pagkakapit nila sa ating mga kamay. Maalis ang kanilang mga palad na naka takip sa ating mga mata at bibig.

Hunyo 12, 1898. Unang iwinagayway ang bandila ng Pilipinas. Na-nagpapakita ng ating kalayaan mula sa mga dayong sinakop tayo sa loob ng napaka habang panahon. Oo, hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang pananakop ng mga bansang makakapangyarihan, pero ipinakita lang natin na kapag nagsama sama tayo, walang imposible. Kaya natin labanan ang kahit anuman, kahit sinuman basta tayo ay may determinasyon at pagkakaisa.

Ngayon, nararapat tayong magpasalamat sakanila. Dahil kung hindi sa mga magigiting na bayani, hindi natin makakamit kung anumang meron tayo ngayon. Hindi lang sila Rizal, Mabini at Bonifacio ang dapat nating bigyang pasasalamat. Alalahanin natin na hindi lamang sila ang nagbigay ng ideya at namatay para sa ating bansa. Libo-libong matatapang na mga katipunero ang lumaban at namatay para sa bayan. Dapat lang ay bigyang importansya din natin sila.

Bago ko tapusin ang sulating ito, nais ko lamang sabihin na, sana ay hindi tayo nag papasalamat sa ating mga bayani dahil sila ang may dahilan kung bakit walang pasok ngayon o kaya naman nagagalit dahil sila ang may dahilan kung bakit may araw ng kasarinlan na nagpapaalala sayo na wala kang karelasyon. Sana ay ma isip natin na sila ang mga matatapang na bayani na handang ibuwis ang buhay para sa ating bayan.

Remember when we were still young, we would always fall because we still can’t walk in our own. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we always end up kissing the floor simply because we are not yet ready to do so. We cried because we are hurt but still, we managed to stand up and continue walking. 

When we were still in our elementary level, we would always cry because we failed a certain examination and we are afraid that we might not meet our parent’s expectation. We enclosed in the wall that society had built but in spite of that, we managed to wipe our tears and continue studying.

Now, we would fall in love with someone. Though we are not sure that all of the promises they make will all come true, still, we take the risk. The risk of getting hurt. It’s not always love and rainbows, sometimes, it’s pain and struggle. But remember, when we were still young, despite of the pain from falling, we managed to walk again. Now, apply it. We should, despite of the pain we are feeling, continue to walk our journey and continue loving.

Love has no ends. Even if you decide to stop loving him, there will always be a part of you that will scream his name and recalls his memory. But you should be aware that this too, shall pass. All you have to do is to let time do it’s job and be happy because you’re one strong beautiful girl.

How women love.

When a woman falls in love, she keeps her heart inside a box and personally delivers it to the person who had her heart taken. She will immediately gets attached to that person- through his words, his face and his promises. She will fell in love with him everyday- even deeper. When he’s away, she will spend her time by re-reading their old conversations. Those conversations that makes her heartbeat so fast- like a car in the midst of racing. She will keep all of the letters, teddy bears, the receipts they have when they went out, the tickets of the bus they rode when they went somewhere far- and all of the other materials that will serve as part of your memories. All of them, well kept inside a box placed on her desk or under her bed. She will get jealous- often times or all the times, but don’t worry, it’s her way of showing that she is dead serious about you. There are times when she will talk to you in a very high pitch, she might even get angry to you for no reasons but, please, do understand her. Girls are often times moody. In most cases, if a woman is really serious about her relationship towards her significant other, she is really falls in love too much and can gave him what he wants as long as she could. That’s the reason why if your relationship failed, she starts to be so bitter about you and your memories. She starts to burn all of those stuff that reminds her of you. She starts to delete all of your conversations and do all things to forget you. You know why she does those things? It’s because she is aware that if she didn’t do those, she may not be able to forget someone who gave her so much to remember.

At this moment, if you are going to ask me if I am okay? I’d immediately reply a “Yes, I am okay”. I might even give you my nicest smile. I could do all things just to make you think that I am really okay. But the truth is, behind this smile, is everything you can’t handle. Behind this is are sharp pieces that had cut my own self.

If you are going to ask me “Do you still love him?” I’d say no and do all of the things just to deny the feelings that I am feeling. I might even state something negative about him. I will do all things to make show you that I despise him. But behind these words, is my heart- still screaming for his name, still searching for his face and still wanting him to go back to me.

If you’d ask me “Do you still care about your old friend?” Frankly, I’ll say no, and might even tell you that “why should I care, she’s pretty much into someone now and I don’t even think she still needs me as her companion”. But behind this pretentious words, is my heart that is in need of a friend like her. That is in need of someone to share my feelings to, to rant about my problems and stuff. 

If you’re going to ask me, “Are you afraid to die?” I’d say no and will say that it’s normal and part of our life but the truth is, I am pretty much scared. Not because I will die, but because thinking that those people I gave importance to might not even remember me when my existence completely vanished pains me. There are lots of possibilities.  

If you’re going to ask me “Do you believe that the world is full of lies?” I’d say no and tell you that “The world is such a beautiful place and this world is a place of all truths”. Darling, I told you that this world is a place of all truths, but dearest, these truths are yet to be discovered. They are hidden and most of the time, not evident. 

Believe me when I say the world is full of lies. Because it was, it is, and it will always be. You just have to read between the lines and among that, you should not listen to what someone tells you. You should feel the person saying those words.