You love listening to music. You love indulging yourself to the delight that it gives you. Music has been your escape from the harsh reality. If that’s the case, why does listening to music makes you sad? You, an amazing human being and music, a harmony that clings into the soul of people should always complement each other; Both amazing things should complement each other. If a music which is well played and is in the right tune sounds bad to you, it is due to the fact that music is blaming you for not making your own harmony. You have the ability to produce wonderful rhythm it’s just that, you’re afraid. Start pressing a key, or strumming some strings. Little by little, you will be able to produce a very sweet harmony that came from your own hands. 

When we’re young, we have all the time that we could have. We actually do not care about it. Often times, we just play stuff and do nonsensical things. We devote our time watching our favorite TV shows, eating and sleeping. We have all the energies, too. We can run miles without being too much exhausted, we could use an entire hour just playing physical games. Unfortunately, when we’re young, we don’t have money to provide our leisure and the stuff we want. In terms of buying stuff, we are all dependent in our parents.

When we’re young adults, we still have all the energies we could use but now, we use it not for playing stuff but for studying, working hard and such. We also have our money to buy our own needs and wants. We get it from our job or allowance maybe and we’re not that dependent to our parents anymore. However, we start to feel the lack of “time” because we have so much things to do. Ironically, when we’re young, we’ve always hated to sleep early but now, sleeping seems to be very precious and all we could ever ask for is for us to have enough sleep. But at this moment, it is not possible.

When we’re already old, we have all the time. We can control our own time, do whatever we want. We also have money to buy our necessities. But it’s evident that we don’t have energy to do so already. Unlike before, we can’t run a mile without being exhausted (Maybe for some, they can, but in general). 

This proves that we cannot really have everything at once. 

It’s because, we build walls instead of bridges.

We want other people’s company but we push them away. We isolate ourselves and then we rant about being alone. We want to be appreciated but we often chose not to show our capabilities. We want our friends to comfort us but we chose to cry in a dark room alone. We want to shine just like those bright stars in the sky but often times, we chose to be a comet quickly losing its shine. We want to be so much more but we chose to cage ourselves inside hollow bars. We want to be different but we chose to be one of the stereotypes of the society. Inside of us is a paradox. We are all a very complex organism who needs to be understand and love by someone. 

Mas gusto ko pang makita kang nakasimangot sakin kaysa naman sa nakikita kitang nakangiti sa akin, ngunit sa aking pag talikod, mawawala din ito. Mas gusto ko pa na wag mo nalang akong pakitaan ng mga ngiti mo dahil alam ko namang peke lang ang mga yan. Mas gusto ko pang wag mo nalang akong tignan at ipakitang nagalak kang nakita mo ako. Kasi alam ko naman na pag talikod ko, wala kang ibang ginawa kundi isnabin ako. Putangina. Kung pwede mag pakatotoo tayo sa sarili natin. Dahil simula’t sapul, nagpakatotoo ako sayo. Kung ano ang pinapakita ko sayo, yun talaga ako. Isang araw lang, nagtatawanan tayo, tapos ngayon, hindi mo nanaman ako kilala. 

Kung pwede lang, sabihin mo sakin kung ano ang dahilan kung bakt biglang nag iba ang pag trato mo sakin. Hindi ako manghuhula. Sana isipin mo din na kapag nangyare ‘to sayo, maiinis ka din sa taong gagawa sayo nito. Dahil putangina, hindi madaling manghula. Hindi madaling maging clueless sa mga bagay bagay. Pero kung akala mo manhid ako at walang alam, nagkakamali ka. Hindi ako tanga. Alam kong may mali pero hindi ko alam kung ano ito.

Sana hindi nalang kita nakilala. Bagamat madami tayong pinagsamahan, hindi ko mapigilang isipin na lokohan lang ang lahat. Nakakainis. Nakakaasar. Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto kitang kausapin at tanungin kung ano ang problema pero mas mataas pa sakin ang pride ko. Kaya wala. Gusto ko, pero hindi ko kaya. Hahayaan nalang talaga siguro kita. 

Bakit kapag meron tayong bagong gamit, alagang alaga natin ito. Ni ayaw pa nga natin itong ipahawak sa kung kani-kaninong tao. Ayaw natin itong magasgasan o madumihan man lang. Kulang nalang eh balutan natin ito ng paulit ulit. Pero bakit ganun? Pag naluma na ito ng panahon, unti unting nawawala ang kahalagahan niya. Yung tipong, kahit pakalat kalat nalang ang gamit na iyon, ay wala na tayong pakealam. Minsan, hinahagis hagis nalang natin ‘to. Bakit ba ganun? Bumaba ba ang “value” ng gamit na ito? Pero diba, ayun parin naman yun. Yung gamit na minsan mong pinahalagahan. Yung gamit na dati’y alagang alaga mo. Bakit nga ba ganun tayo.

Tulad sa kaibigan. Kapag may dumadating na bago, tila nakakalimutan natin yung mga taong dati ay kasama natin mapalungkot man o saya. Yung mga taong dati mong iniyakan at linabasan ng lahat ng sama ng loob mo sa mundo. Yung taong nagpapatahan sayo pag di mo na kinaya ang bigat ng nararamdaman mo. Yung taong nakaalalay sayo at susuportahan ka sa kahit anong gawin mo. Pero sa isang iglap lang, nawawala na. Bakit kaya ganun? Bakit nga ba ganun tayo.

First.

You’ll feel that the person who used to be your world starts drifting away from you. You start to feel alone and lonely. You’ll write because of sadness and pain. Your perspective will change, too. You first thought that the world is a paradise but then, you’ll realize that it’s not. That it’s all a big nightmare and you just have to find your way out. Before you get devoured by the emotions which slowly engulf you. 

Second. 

Your heart will shatter into tiny pieces. At first, you’ll feel so pained. But later on, you’ll grow numb to the ache you’re feeling. You’ll start realize that everything that happened between the two of you is just a big joke- that nothing was true. It’s all nonsensical. 

Third.

You’ll then pity yourself. For holding on into something that is non-existent. You’ll find yourself alone in a dark room, crying your emotions out. But the worst part is, there’s no one to comfort you and that’s gonna make you cry even more.

Fourth.

You’ll see him happy with someone else. You’ll see a smile on his face. A smile that you’ve never seen before even when you two are together. You’ll feel jealous but you can’t do anything about it. You’ll watch him from a distance. You’ll watch him from afar. You see him walk pass through you as if you do not know each other. You are now invisible for him.

Fifth.

You’ll start cursing him and the girls he’s with. You’ll start questioning fate. Maybe, you just have to accept that…love is a feeling that not everyone could handle. 

This is for the people who works for their loved ones. This is for those who sacrifice their valuable time just for them to earn money so they can provide all the needs of their family. This is for those who endure the pain of not being with their own family. This is for those who uses skype or any form of applications just to be update with their family. This is for those who helped building our nation. This is for those who stays up late just to finish their paper works. Those who are being scold by their boss and feeling so debased. To all laborers out there, you deserve all the love you could have. You are appreciated, you are loved. Remember that. 

I could have wore thick make-ups so that I will catch people’s attention. I could have use a very red lipstick to emphasize my desire for boys. I could have starve myself to death so that I could have the body everyone dreamed of having. I could have wore very short shorts and wear awfully high heels. Yes, I could have done any of those.

I could have gone to parties and got myself drunk. I could have stayed up late in someone else’s house. I could have flirt with every boy I see. I could have been the bitch that everyone hates. I could have taken illegal drugs and drink liquors. I could have made my mother cry because of my terrible actions. Yes, I could have done any of those.

I could have been just another stereo type of the society. I could have followed their path towards the wrong destination. But I am me. And I am different. And I have sworn to myself that I will never be someone whom I know I’m not. No one could ever change me. I had my mindset that I will be more than that. More than what our generation can. I am different and I am planning to make a difference. A significant difference.The change should start in me. 

I could have been any of those, but I choose not to be one of them.

You know me. You are aware of my existence. We see each other almost everyday. But what remains hidden is my feelings for you. 

You smiled at me, I smiled back at you. You continued what you’re doing and I continued mine too. But what you don’t know is that my heart is still beating very fast. Your smile gives me premature ventricular contractions. It’s like, your smile gave me aftershocks. Oh, if I could just tell you how your smile brightens up my day. How your smile, your sweet, sweet smile completes my day. 

You looked at me and I looked at you too. For you, to look at someone like me is nothing but a normal thing to do. But believe me when I say, it melts my heart- really. Your eyes are like stars- those stars that I can only gaze upon; No matter what I do, it’ll always be so close yet so far. 

I cracked a joke and you laughed at it. When people actually laughs at my joke, it means nothing. But when you do, it means absolutely everything. I can’t help but to feel so special because I made you laugh- that I made you smile even just for a while. 

Even the littlest things, when it comes to you, means awfully a lot to me. But I must accept the fact that you will always be my inspiration. Nothing more, nothing less. You’re close to me, literary close. But you’ll always be far, metaphorically far. Even farther than the farthest stars.  

Vowels.

People really need to know that not because someone is educated, doesn’t mean he’s well-mannered too. So stop saying you’re educated when in fact your attitude is worse than a stray kid.