Selfishly, you destroy all of the wonders the world have given us. Painstakingly, others suffer because of your doings. You breathed air as if it was all yours- inhaling selfishness, exhaling love. You throw trashes on the streets as if it will automatically clean up for you, You burn down letters of your past lovers and let the smoke engulf our atmosphere. You’re foolish enough to do things because of your own good not thinking about others. 

The world have provided your needs ever since. If only she could speak, then you would hear her cry because of agony and pain- the pain of destroying her, little by little. If only she were a real person then you would see how badly she is bleeding at this very moment. If only she could defend herself- but no, it is actually our duty to protect her but what are we doing. 

Darling, the world is not yours. 

We should be sensible enough to know if someone has been hurt because of something that we said. 

Not because what you said was a joke, doesn’t mean that, this particular person won’t feel anything about it. Sometimes, these questions leave imprints on their minds making them wonder if that joke is really true, half meant or not at all. 

Some people are very sensitive, just so you know. 

My paper heart.

I once own a heart. A tiny paper heart. It’s one of the purest heart you will ever see. One time, I wrote something on it that says “Fragile”. I putted it so that people will be aware that it is something that should be taken care of. Something not to be played with.

Then I met this boy, I fell in love with him, and he fell in love with me, too. It was all perfect. He brought me to a paradise, a utopia of love. He gained my trust and my heart, too. I gave him my paper heart and I told him “please take good care of it”. He smiled and said “I will, I promise”. But then time passed by and he got bored, he lost his interest to me. Then he played with it- with my paper heart. He crumpled it, then throw it back to me. Then he left me in the midst of nowhere. My paper heart did not bleed, but I am pretty sure that it ache terribly. 

Now numbers of years have passed, I fell in love with quite a lot of boys hoping and wishing that they won’t do the same thing to my paper heart. But all of them, just crumpled it and ended up throwing it back to me. The last guy who did waste my heart told me that “You know why people kept on wasting your heart? It’s because they want something whole. And yours is not complete”.

It’s quite peculiar that after all these times, people kept on telling me that my heart is not complete. That it is torn and a big part of it is missing. Now, I realized something. Maybe, the missing part is still on my first love’s hand. Because when he gave it back to me, I never really had my whole paper heart then. And it was the time when I realized that the first time someone’s gonna break your heart, probably, it’s the most destructive and painful of all. 

During spring, we are all glad to see colorful flowers that starts to grow. A painting in the land, it is. A beautiful scenery our eyes will behold- wild plum trees, lovely red roses, elfin dandelions and sweet cherry blossoms. We would all hyperventilate because everything seems to be so magical and amazing. A paradise we’ve always dreamed of. We pick up these red roses in our hands because it is all beautiful and attractive and we just want to keep it together with us but what we don’t see is that we are letting it die- slowly in our own very hands. Time will come that these lovely roses in our hands will all wilt and its petals will be gone with the wind. Then, we will feel sorry for ourselves for letting something beautiful die because of our selfishness. 

In autumn, you will see that the leaves of a cherry blossom’s tree starts to fall. The tree that you once fell in love with started to look dry and old. It will later on turn into a bare tree. Now, it doesn’t even affect you. You don’t even look back at it. Just because its beauty had faded away. The moon shines so bright and now, it is something you’d immediately fall in love with. You love beautiful things. Once something you love loses its beauty, you’d fall out of love. 

There comes a moment when time will wipe all the beauty you have in your face. Leaving you marks of the past. You will look unattractive and unappealing to the eye. But once you get someone’s heart, no matter how uncanny you look, you will always be remembered and loved by that someone because the truth is, you can easily capture someone’s eye, but it takes more than just beauty to capture someone’s heart.

You are beautiful-

even if your skin is not as white as Anne Hathaway’s. Not because your skin is not that white, doesn’t mean you’re already ugly. Maybe, one of society’s criteria of being beautiful is about being white, but believe me, you’re beautiful in your own way. Even if you have tan lines, you’re still exceptionally beautiful, I swear. So don’t be scared to go outside your house during noon time when the sun is shining so bright on it’s throne. Go, have fun and don’t mind whether your skin is going to be tanned. Don’t let anything hold you back. Just enjoy. 

You are beautiful-

even if you’re underweight or even overweight. Size does not determine whether someone’s beautiful or not. Even if your waistline is not 24 or your stomach is not flat, you’re still beautiful. Don’t mind the society. They will always find ways on how they could bring you down but what’s important is that you don’t let them discourage you. So what if you’re size is big? So what if you don’t have a thigh gap? It doesn’t really matter. In the eye of someone who knows how to appreciate true beauty, everyone is fairly equal. You don’t have to starve yourself to death just to achieve that perfect body shape you’ve always dreamed of having. A healthful body is more important than a sexy body.

You are beautiful- 

even if your hair is not the same as Lana Del Rey’s. You are beautiful even if you don’t have flat teeth. You are beautiful even if your nose is not as high as Manilyn Monroe’s. You are beautiful even if you think that you are not as slim as those dancers in your favorite TV show. You are beautiful.

You are beautiful-

despite of all your imperfections. You are beautiful and don’t mind if people tells you that you’re not. Someday, you’re going to find someone who will appreciate you no matter what. You will find someone who will tell you that you’re beautiful even if your hair is not yet combed. Just remember, “beauty is within the eye of the beholder” as they all say. Society’s opinion is not important. What’s important is that when you look at the mirror, you could confidently tell yourself, “I am beautiful”.

You are beautiful-

because you are the only person as beautiful as spring time. Your beauty is like a new born bud- let it grow, let it develop naturally. If you could only see, that your eyes are like windows to the universe, that your hair are like the vines that give beauty to a garden, that the entirety of you is a masterpiece, I swear, you’re going to look at yourself differently. If only you could see yourself the way I do.

Keep on writing- 

Even if the society hinders you from doing so. Don’t let them stop you from doing what you like. It’s your skill after all. Don’t mind them. Just remember the quotation “Write for you, not for them”. Don’t let their criticisms stop you from writing. Keep in mind that they are not worth your time and you should not let their words affect you. You are awesome in your own little way. 

Keep on writing- 

Let a writer be born in your persona. I know there are lots of writers but I do believe that there will always be something that would make you shine above the rest. There is still this uniqueness that each writer has which differs them from others. Let that writer in you be developed. Just write, write and write. Use your creative juices. Don’t waste them. 

Keep on writing-

Who knows, your words might even change lives. Some or most of the writers we idolize also started from being a simple writer, but now, just look at them, they successfully changed lives through their works. Who knows? You might be one of them. One of the people who could change the perspective of other people. 

Keep on writing-

Simply because you can. When the time comes that you are going to die, just remember that there is something that will live on- your words.

When I was a kid, my mother used to tell me stories about the creatures of the dark. She then told me that they came from a different dimensions. She told me about how they look- they look really terrifying and scary. She told me that if I sleep late, someone would creep out from our window and scare me. That’s the reason why I was afraid of the dark. I am afraid that in the absence of light, there are these creatures that my mother tell me stories about. I never went into a pitch-black room alone. Maybe that is the reason why I am diatomic- I never go to a place without a companion. I am afraid of the things they can do to me. 

Years have passed, and I am no longer scared of these figments of my imagination. I realized that I was the only one making those images inside my head. I became afraid of something real- I was so afraid to go outside every night. It’s because my mother told me that if I do so, there are some “bad” people who could do hideous things to me. At my age, my mother made me realize that the world is not really safe. Even in then comfort of your own home, you have no assurance that you’re going to be alright. I’ve read newspapers, watched televisions and I am aware that everyday, there are people who die because of the selfishness of others. Maybe that’s the reason why I am diatomic- I never really went out of our house or go to places alone. I am afraid of the things they can do to me.

But now, I realized that it’s not the monsters hiding in the thick sheets of darkness nor the people who has the ability to kill someone. I realized that if there is something I should be afraid of, it’s me- inside me are two personalities. The first one…is, I could say that this is the part of me who has this thing for sunsets. This part of me composed by cosmic dusts, cherry blossoms and other pleasant things. But the other half, is something unbearable. I could say that this is where the devil inside me hides. I am trying to hide it. I do all my best. But sometimes, it wanted to be free just like those dark crows flying across the vast sky. I am afraid I might not be able to control this other side of me. Maybe that’s the reason why I am diatomic- I always wanted to have a companion to comfort me when I feel like I am going to explode and change my demeanor to being an angel to a demon. I am afraid of the things I can do to me.

Save me from myself.

We’ve gone through a lot of problems but we surpass them all. We’ve been together- through our ups and downs. We’ve broke the walls that used to separate us but why are you building these walls again? I can feel that you’re keeping a distance away from me- physically, I can feel you, but in my heart, I can feel that you are fathoms away from me. It seems like you are in a different dimension that no matter how hard I scream you name, I have no ways to be heard. What pains me is that you don’t even tell me the reason on why you decided to walk away from me. Questions keep on haunting my head.. “Did I do something stupid?” “Did I offended you?” I keep on re-reading our conversations but I can’t actually find something wrong.

I saw you walking… a while ago. You’re on your way home. With a lot of guts, I decided to confront you. I just want to clear things in my mind. I walked slowly to you… Every step I made, seems to be eternity. “Why can’t I be close to you?”- that’s the only thing in my mind. No matter how hard I try, I can’t be any close to you. I can feel my heart trembling and beating so fast. It’s breaking because Then, you noticed me. You ran as fast as you can. It’s painful to see that you’re distant from me. But it’s more painful to see that you’re making ways to be more distant from me. I cannot do anything to stop you- I cannot do anything to please you. I shouted your name, but it was as if, you’re deaf. Silence slowly engulfed the place. I can hear nothing but my own heart- breaking. The wind that adds an effect to the gloomy atmosphere. I finally stopped chasing you because I can no longer see clearly. Tears were blocking my eyesight and I have nothing better to do but to stop. Slowly, I bowed my head, and started to cry. I can no longer take the pain that I am feeling. I don’t care if people sees me, all I wanted to do is to cry everything out and let go of the memories we had. But, you are not that easy to forget. You leave me so much to remember.

i. Find a subject. It could be anyone. A person you see walking down the road. Someone who sit beside you a month ago, a friend who is not the same anymore, a lover who is thousand miles away from you, someone who does not appreciate you, a victim of unrequited love- anyone. It’s your choice.

ii. Find something that has similarities with that person. Like for example, you could compare her to a rose, very beautiful as it seems yet pained with it’s thorns. You could compare him to the stars who shines so bright despite of the distance between you and him. This is important especially if you want your writings to be metaphorical. You have to think of a lot of symbolism but of course, you have to write context clues so that your readers could comprehend the reason why did you use that thing. 

iii. Think of any memories you could incorporate with it. Put something that can easily show your style “Ah, it was written by her” or “she used to tell me her stories now I could see where did she get this idea”.

iv. Be original. You can never be good if you keep on imitating other people. Yes, you can have those good writers as your inspiration but not to the point that you copy their style, their choice of words and things like that.

v. Pour your heart into it. Feel the emotion of the text you’re writing.

vi. Always remember that your writings shouldn’t always be perfect. You’ll improve after some time. Just continue to write. Write and write. There is no better practice than just actually writing and there is no better feeling than watching yourself improve.

I have always dreamed of becoming a doctor. It was and still my dream. I have always loved to ambiance that hospitals give me. The scent upon entering it, the doctors in white gowns, the powerful emotions of those people waiting outside the emergency rooms, the entirety of it.  Hopefully, years from now, I will become one. I will someone who walks along the silent corridor of the rooms wearing a white gown with a stethoscope in my pocket  but then, I asked myself, am I ready to face the job of becoming a doctor? Am I ready to be an intern who has a duty on Christmas Eve? Am I ready to hear those loud music outside the hospital while I am there, sitting on my desk, waiting for a patient to assist? Am I ready to deal with ghosts? (You know, stories about hospitals) Am I ready to see a person die in my own hands? Am I ready to hear the last beat of someone’s heart? to see him breathe his last breath? Am I? Am I ready to be confined in this place while all of my colleagues are partying? Am I ready to sleep hardly an hour? Am I ready to break someone’s heart by telling him that he only have few days left to live? Am I ready to sign death certificates? Am I ready to have these high expectations on me? Am I ready for all of these? Oh, god. But one thing is for sure, I am ready to cure patients who badly need my help.