Love-

I took a walk in the garden

With someone who has my heart taken

We then gazed upon it’s beauty.

We walk in the path that is not taken,

In a place full of daffodils, 

I was amazed to see a beautiful red rose.

Not in a pot, but in his hand.

He handed it to me with a smile on his face.

Just like the rose, my face turned into red.

We hold hands and continued walking.

Very sweet as it seems. 

Death-

At night, my mind is an abyss full of rambled thoughts,

but no matter how hard I try,

the thought of him will always be permanent.

Though I know he does not feel the same way anymore.

But as long as the rose he gave is alive, 

I’ll never lose my hope for him- for love.

Last night, I slept beside the rose,

and watched it as it’s petals fell off.

Comparable to his love, which is fading away. 

I cried alone, in the corner of my room.

Death of love-

I remembered how he used to held my hand-

the way he used to hug me tight.

My tears fell down my cheeks,

As I saw the last petal fell off.

I knew by that time, he had found someone.

Someone who deserves him.

Someone I know better than me.

I picked the last petal of the flower he gave,

I opened the window next to me.

The breeze of the wind, is unbearably cold.

and is extremely strong

I then let go of the last petal,

just like how I let go of him. 

If I was a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

• Have fun. This is your last year as a highschool student. You will miss this when you realized that you’re now a college student. Savor your memories together with your friends. It would probably be fun while it lasted.
• Priorities. Focus. Again, this is your last year as a high school student and this would be the last time to show everyone what you got. Do your best but do not force yourself to be someone who you’re not. 
• Be industrious. Entrance examination tests are approaching. Sooner or later, you’ll be dealing with those. You have to study hard so that you will study in the school you’ve always dreamed of. Try to set aside your social networking sites.
• Mind over matter. Try to have a very very very long patience about stuff. Do not let your emotions to be the one controlling you. You should be the one controlling your emotions. Okay? Naturalism. You shouldn’t react about something unless you know the reason on why they did that thing.
• Do not stress yourself. If someone doesn’t like you, don’t please them to do so. Let them be. Let them say crappy things about you. Do not go down their level. Just prove them wrong okay. Let them no that if they don’t like you, then you don’t like them too- not even a bit. Okay? Let them say things about you as long as they want. But remember that you shouldn’t be affected to what they say as long as you know by yourself that what they’re saying isn’t true.
• Do not pretend. Same as well, if you don’t want someone, don’t pretend to do so. Let them prove themselves wrong. But of course, you should know that you should first understand them before hating/avoiding them.

Fourth year na talaga ako.

Kanina, kuhaan ng card. Enrollment na din. Ayun, fourth year na talaga ako. Grabe. Ang bilis ng panahon. IV-ESEP-Centaurus ako. Gusto ko yung pangalan ng kabilang section, Orion kaso andun yung pinaka ayaw kong maging kaklase (Prangka kung prangka). Kaya okay na din. Nakakainis kasi, iba talaga dating niya sakin. Sobrang isip bata niya. Though sabi ng iba, nag bago naman siya, ewan. Hahaha. Yung isang classmate ko, nagmura kasi classmate niya yun. Haha share lang. Pero hahaha, individual differences naman diba. May mga tao talagang ayaw natin. Pero siguro kung totoong nag bago na siya, then okay. Pero ayun, kung tatanungin ako kung kamusta para sakin yung sectioning, masasabi kong okay lang naman. Though meron talaga akong kaklase na ayaw kong maging kaklase. Dalawa siguro sila? Or tatlo. Ayun, ayoko talaga silang maging kaklase kasi sobrang halata na pinaplastik nila ako. Halata naman na ayaw din niya/nila akong maging kaklase. Lalo na yung isa. Hahaha. Akala naman niya tanga ako para ‘di ko maramdaman na pinaplastik niya lang ako. Ewan ko. Siguro iibahin ko talaga ugali ko ngayong fourth year. Siguro, ‘di ako makikipagusap pag alam kong pinaplastik mo lang ako. ‘Di ko siya kakausapin ayokong makipag plastikan ngayon. Eenjoyin ko lang talaga yung taon na ‘to. Kasi last year na ‘to e. ‘Di ko nalang aatupagin yung pakikipagplastikan sa mga taong ayaw sakin. Hehe mas ayaw ko sayo kung ayaw mo sakin. :) Ayun, ‘di ko din classmate yung talagang mga kaclose ko, pero keri lang. May mga kaclose din naman ako eh. Hahaha.

Pag may nakabasa nanaman nito, kung sinu-sino nanaman yung i-aassume nila na pinapatamaan ko sa post nila. Pero sinasabi ko sa mga taong may balak ikalat ang post na ito para pag piyestahan nila, hindi niyo kilala kung sino tinutukoy ko dito. Haha. ‘Lang pakealamanan. Hindi ako nagsusulat para sa ikasasaya niyo kaya huwag mag aassume. 

Tumblr circa 2009/2010.

Naaalala niyo ba nung nag iiba iba yung kulay ng tumblr dash? Yung naging violet pa siya noon. Naalala niyo pa ba noong bawat araw may dapat ipost? Yung pag Thurs, TTH. Pag Friday, Ghost stories (not sure). Yung ganito. Tapos, may TMI Mondays. Nakakamiss. Naabutan niyo pa ba yung tumblarity? Naalala niyo pa ba yung puro typos ang makikita mo? Tapos wala pang masyadong issue. Ay, may nakakaalala ba nung nangyare noong December 23, 2010? Good vibes day. Ito yung nag followback lahat ng mga famous sa tumblr. Maski si Leilockheart. Oha. Tapos, may recommend page pa. Yung every Tuesday, ire-recomment mo yung gusto mong blog. Nakakamiss lang yung dating tumblr. Pero ang totoo kasi, hindi tumblr ang nag bago- tayo. Tayong mga blogger ang nagbago.

You still love her.

Don’t deny. No matter how hard you try, I can see it in your eyes. You still love her. You don’t have to lie to me. You’re still longing for her eyes- her beautiful brown eyes. You’re still longing for her smile- her sweet, captivating smile. The smile who used to brighten up your gloomy days. You still long for her voice- her sweet, lovely voice. The voice who used to serenade you during times that you can’t sleep.You still long for her stares- those stares that melts you. You still long for her touch- her magical touch. You still wish that she could still hold your hands and cuddle with you. You still wish that she could write poems about you. I knew that all along. She’s still the subject of our conversations. It hurts- terribly. It’s like a dagger that stabs me in the back. But I chose this. So I have to deal with all the consequences. No matter what I do, I’ll always be your second option. Your best friend. I’ll never be the girl you talk about. I’ll never be good enough for you. She’s everything while I am nothing. Maybe I should be used to this pain.

The pain of one sided love. The pain of falling in love with my best friend. 

You just can’t. To be blunt, I am a nice person. I am really good to those who treat me well. I do. I’ll show those people my respect, kindness and the goodness I have. But if you don’t respect me, well, I am telling you, you won’t have a single or even a small amount of my respect. It’s a cliche, if you want to be respected, do respect others as well. But if you’re going to show me your evil side, well I’m telling you, a little miss devil is hiding inside the body of this young girl you’re playing with. To be honest, I am really rude to those kind of people. Once you irritate me, expect that you can’t have any moments with me because what I’m gonna do is to isolate myself from you. Of course, who wants to be with someone who irritates you, right? Ergo, my attitude is based on how you treat me. It’s like I’ll be the reflection of your own self. 

Things we should have done together.

We should have seen each other every morning, waking up to the rays of sunlight that passes through the translucent window of our small dainty room. I should have made you some coffee while you’re reading the news paper freshly delivered at the front of our door. We should have bought our grocery list together. We should have watched plays in the theater together. We should have criticized actors in a movie together. We should have drove a road trip from here to somewhere far, far away from home. We should have cuddled during rainy days. You should have brushed my hair while I should have fixed your necktie. We should have captured the memories we have together. We should have finished the bucketlist we made together. There are still a lot of things we should have done together. Too bad, you passed my way in a speed of light. 

I crossed paths with you, a while ago. I am not sure if you’ve noticed me. I’ve changed a lot- physically and emotionally. I can’t believe that after almost three years of living without each other, I’ll be able to see you once again. Your tantalizing eyes, your lips who used to whisper those sweet words to me. You used to be my special someone, I hope you are aware of that and I am pretty much sure that I have moved on. But I can’t help but to ask myself, where did we went wrong? I see the memories flash before my eyes. Like a slideshow of the things we used to do. All of the letters you writ me, the promises you told me- everything. But don’t get me wrong. I felt nothing- You’re not special, unlike before. I don’t love you anymore. Maybe yes, but in a friendly way. But these questions are really bugging my mind. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that the past should be left behind, these questions always cling into my mind. It lingers. I know that no matter how good the memories was, if it already ended, let it me. I am pretty much aware that my destiny is never tied to someone who leaves. Before I continued walking, I looked at you- just one last glance. There’s a probability that this is going to be the last time I’ll be seeing you. When I looked at you, I saw you, you’re also looking at me. And you’re smiling. Why? Dear, are you planning to make me fall in love with that smile of yours? You know how much I moon over them. I’m sorry if I looked down. It’s kinda, awkward, you know. I continued walking because I started to feel the pain of letting someone you love go. I turned around. You were behind me. I asked you about why are you following me, you just smiled and said, you missed me. Are you giving me mixed signals? Gah. You know how much I hate those. I don’t know what to say. So I just smiled and said.. “I missed the old you too”. Then I walk away. I tried my best not to look back. Now I’m writing you this letter to let you know that you’re a person from my past who’s always welcome in my present. Maybe, not as a significant other but a friend. I hope you’re happy right now. I wish you all the best.

From a lady who loved you more than herself. 

I would love to write about how your eyes seemed to gleam every single time I look at them, but I always ran out of words to say. I will always watch you from a distance and observe the way you move. I would love to write a poem or a prose dedicated to you. But the words aren’t really enough. I always ran out of adjectives when it comes to describing how perfect you seemed to be. Your lips- the perfect combination of burgundy and pink. Your spiky hair that reminds me of my favorite anime character. Your perfect skin tone and your high bridge nose. You’re like a character that exist only in Nicholas Sparks’ novels. You’re really indeed, handsome. A type of a man that a most girls would probably moon over. 

You captivated my eyes.

And then I get to know you even better. You’re the type of guy that prefers reading more than playing some online games. You’re the type of guy who prefers writing love letters rather than just texting those ideas in your mind. You’re the type of guy that has this mind set to court only one girl and be loyal. You respect your parents and you’d rather go to church than to hang out in the mall with some girls who you just met from some networking dating sites. You’d rather keep your money to buy some books than to buy it with some cigarettes and vodka. You’re a very rare man.

You captivated my heart.